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Why do husbands and wives end up killing each other? How does love turn into such a state of intense hatred that someone you once wanted to honor and cherish till death, becomes so deeply and wholly detested by you that you want to kill them and cook their body parts, chop their head off and carry it around in a box ala Kevin Artz? We know money is the motivator for some, like Jim Fayed who killed his wife Pamela Fayed because he didn’t want to share the hundreds of millions they’d amassed through their online gold trading business (E-Bullion); but what is the motivator when money isn’t a factor? In cases like that of Reshma James, gunned down by her estranged husband Joseph Pallipurath the motivator seems to be the “if I can’t have you nobody else can” mentality. Some people might mistakenly believe that has something to do with love, but it really has nothing to do with love. It’s about control, possession and ego.

Some people would rather kill their spouse than allow their spouse to move on with life without them, not because they care about their spouse or want to be with their spouse, they just don’t feel their spouse should have the right to be at peace and be happy while they’re not. The OJ Simpson murder trial comes quickly to mind. He was, of course, acquitted, but in the court of public opinion he’s been deemed guilty of murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown and the reason is widely believed to be resentment over her getting on with her life and him deciding if he couldn’t have her no one could.

It’s amazing some of the shocking headlines of wives killing husbands and husbands killing wives, chopping up and deep-frying body parts, flushing body parts down the toilet, running over each other with cars, pushing each other off cliffs. I mean, my God, just call a divorce lawyer you know? File for a divorce. Why is it necessary to kill your spouse?

For those of you who are in the midst of a bad relationship, if you ever find yourself fantasizing about killing your husband or your wife, now is the time to do something about it; and I don’t mean act out your fantasy. It’s probably not all that unusual for spouses to wish each each other dead. I know some people who’ll swear up and down they’ve never wished their spouse dead. I’m going to have the courage to be honest here and say I’ve not only wished my husband dead in the past, several years ago we had a disagreement and I was walking through the living room heading to our bedroom to workout. I had a barbell in my hand and for a fleeting second I felt the impulse to hit him in the head with it. I didn’t feel an urge to kill him, only to hit him in the head with the barbell and unleash my rage; but I might have killed him had I done that. We’re a long way past those days; but the anger and resentment we felt towards each other during those days was pretty intense and resulted in domestic abuse with I, the woman, being the batterer rather than the other way around.

If you’re going through a difficult time with your spouse you can’t afford to let rage build up and hatred grow to a point where your inevitable eruption or your spouse’s inevitable eruption proves fatal. If the situation is beyond repair, get a divorce before you resort to homicide, suicide or murder-suicide.

How to tell when your marriage is beyond repair - not necessarily endorsing this article but it’s a good starting point for determining if your marriage is beyond repair.