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William Colburn from Naples Florida was arrested after allegedly stealing a pair of earrings from JC Penny then swallowing them to hide them when he was confronted by a guard. The earrings were worth $16. Colburn is being charged with petty theft and tampering with evidence. The incident occurred at the JC Penny store at 2076 9th Street North in Naples.

According to reports, Colburn had placed the earrings into a bottle of vitamin water after lifting them from the store. He then left the store but was confronted by a security guard who had watched him while he stole the earrings and dropped them into his vitamin water. The security guard was leading Colburn back inside when Colburn decided to drink the evidence.

Since the guard knew that the earrings were in the bottle of vitamin water it was easy to determine that Colburn had swallowed the earrings. An x-ray took care of verifying that, in fact, the earrings were hidden inside Colburn.

Personal comment: You know what, I feel badly for William Colburn. Call me a criminal sympathizer but if you’re stealing a $16 pair of earrings from JC Penny you’re obviously not doing it because you have plans on becoming a grand larcenist. If you’re going to take a risk and steal for profit you’re not going to steal  earrings from JC Penny that are small enough to swallow and worth only $16; so I’m going to guess this poor young man stole the earrings to give to a girlfriend or something. It doens’t justify his actions. Stealing is stupid; but his reasons were noble, assuming he was just trying to make some young woman, or maybe even his mother, happy.