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Need a laugh? I came across a page of courtroom quotations on the website rinkworks.com. I don’t know if these are real quotations or if they are made up but they are definitely funny.

If you need a cheap laugh check out the page. Courtroom Quotations. Here’s one of the quotes from the page:

Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”
Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?”
Witness: “No.”
Lawyer: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
Lawyer: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
Witness: “Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.”

Image: Human Brain Gaetan Lee

Here’s some advice from Shel Silverstein that might help if you’re feeling a bit defeated and hearing the voices in your head of everyone who has told you through your life that you “cant”, “shouldn’t”, “mustn’t”, and “won’t”.

Listen to Mustn’ts, child, listen to the Don’ts.
Listen to the Shouldn’ts, the Impossibles, the Won’ts.
Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me.
Anything can happen, child, Anything can be.

-Shel Silverstein

It’s really all up to you. Seriously. If you want something badly enough and you’re willing to do what you have to do to obtain it, nothing can stop you, except maybe death or something, but let’s not go there….

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
Mother Teresa

Image: Small White Flower by tanakawho via Flickr

I came across this quote by Marilyn Monroe a minute ago. In a way I agree with the sentiment; but in another way I don’t. I’ve never understood how it is that people can sometimes be their meanest and nastiest with the people they supposedly love.

We tend to think our loved ones ought to love us no matter what. Meanwhile we keep the best of ourselves from them and only show them the ugly side. The quote from Marilyn Monroe:

“I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

I agree with Marilyn Monroe that if someone can’t handle you at your worst then they don’t deserve you at your best; but if you never show them your best then what’s going to offset the damage you do showing them your worse? What reason will they have to tolerate your bad behavior if they never see you at your best?

I think people should try to be just as conscious of their behavior when at home around their family as they try to be when out in public. Why should you only try to be nice when around strangers, work colleagues and friends? Sure, it’s understandable that sometimes you have frustrations to deal with and home is the only place you feel safe venting your frustrations; but when you vent by taking out your frustrations on your family and making them feel like they are the source of your problems it only makes it harder for them “handle you at your worst”. It doesn’t seem fair to expect your family (siblings, children, parents, husband or wife) to love you no matter what while you do everything to make yourself virtually impossible to love.

Image: Luminous Beauty by manitou2121 via Flickr

The following quote is attributed to Thomas Jefferson:

There is nothing more unequal than the equal treatment of unequal people

I’m very curious to know what he meant by this.

It’s interesting because I was thinking about life the other day, wondering about my own misguided notion that there’s nobody better than me. I got to a point of thinking that maybe it’s more important for me to accept that there are people better than me than it is for me to continue going around claiming everyone is equal and no one is better than me just because they have more fame, more money, higher standing in society etc.

The fact is, in the eyes of the rest of the world people with more money, more fame, more education and higher standing in society are better than I am; and the way life works, these people will all get treated better; and if I went out trying to demand equal treatment I’d look like a fool. People would laugh at me and probably stone me.

The Thomas Jefferson quote is fascinating. It seems wrong to say that everyone doesn’t deserve equal treatment, which appears to be what he’s saying; but in reality most people agree in practice though in sentiment they claim to believe in the principle of all men being equal. We decide how people are to be treated based on such factors as wealth, level of education and status in society. It sounds like Jefferson was basically expressing his opinion that the idea of treating a pauper, for example, the same way you treat a rich man is preposterous.

Image: Biography of Thomas Jefferson (Third President 1801-1809) by Tony the Misfit via Flickr

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. Aristotle

In other words listen to other people’s opinions but don’t just accept everything you’re told. Respect the opinions of others but think for yourself and come to your own conclusions.

Image: Plato and Aristotle by Image Editor via Flickr