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For most people, the answer to the question “will you?” is the defining moment of the proposal. For Don Walling of New York, however, the image that he will remember forever is not his lovely fiancée Gina Pellicani’s happy agreement but the sight of the diamond ring he’d offered her falling through a crack in the Brooklyn Bridge and landing amongst traffic on the roadway below. “I got on one knee, proposed and it just flew out,” Walling recounted. “I watched it fall through the crack on the bridge, right between the wood planks.”

Supposedly, Walling had gone to great efforts to plan the proposal, and with his family watching, he was determined not to let it be a bust. “I kissed her, said I was sorry, and told her I am going to get that ring back,” Walling said. Then, he jumped onto the roadway and began searching for the ring with the help of his family and fiancée directing him from above. Amazingly, he found it—and the diamonds were still intact, although the band was bent in the fall.

I say, next time skip the ring business and give her a shot of vodka instead. You’re both going to need it.

What wouldn’t you do in front of your spouse? -  I’m reading this article over on CNN and I have to say, I believe boundaries are important but I think attitudes about burping and passing gas, breaking wind, farting (whatever your preference of word/phrase) can be pretty ridiculous. People burp. People pass gas. It’s normal. With regard to the farting, sometimes it happens before you can excuse yourself to go find a spot where it’s safe to bust it out. Sometimes it gets ridiculous trying to excuse yourself because you’re farting every minute and excusing yourself every minute is just plain inconvenient.

Frankly, if the farter’s farts aren’t smelling up the whole place then I see no reason for anyone to be offended by the sound of gas bursting free. It seems to me that it would make more sense for people to try to adjust their thinking and accept that farting is normal and that there’s no need to be royally offended when someone sitting next to them lets one rip.

I’ll grant that an exception should be made when the farter’s farts smell like they ate a dozen rotten eggs, and even when there’s the slightest odor. Noisy farts are one thing. Stinking farts are another; but I confess I’ve released a few deadly-smelling farts in my husband’s presence. My worse-smelling farts smell like roses compared to his worse smelling farts though. Earlier in our marriage he would go outdoors every time he needed to fart. Eventually he realized how ridiculous that was. If your spouse can’t  accept that you sometimes fart and that sometimes your farts smell like death, then your spouse can’t accept you. End of story.

CNN - What wouldn’t you do in front of your spouse?

On Christmas morning in Hutchinson Kansas Stephen Jones stabbed his wife Sabrina Jones to death. It is not known why Stephen Jones killed his wife and why he chose Christmas day to perform the deed. more on the sabrina jones murder

Relationships can get complicated; but when things reach a point where you start to harbor thoughts about killing your spouse you really owe it to yourself and your spouse to get some help sorting out your emotions. There’s normal anger and normal resentment; but once you start to get so angry and so filled with hate that you want to kill, you’ve gone beyond the boundaries of normalcy. You’ve reached a point where you have lost touch with reality and you need to do something about it. Don’t just sit around and allow that kind of anger and contempt to spread through your brain like a poison.

If it’s not already too late for you, if you haven’t already acted on your anger and killed your spouse; and if you have the slightest interest in another alternative to murder as a means for dealing with anger, pick up any or all of the books below and start learning more effective ways of dealing with your anger issues. In the meantime, with regard to your marriage, contact a divorce lawyer if things are that bad that you want to kill your wife.
Recommended Books
Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men: How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More Out of Life

When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight

Angry Men: Managing Anger in an Unforgiving World

Images(Left: Sabrina Jones; Right: Stephen Jones)

If you’d rather see your partner dead that get divorced you might as well start fixing your marriage. Wouldn’t it be better to be happy in your relationship than so miserable that you end up killing your partner and spending the rest of your life behind bars, assuming you don’t kill yourself too?

If you don’t want to end up faced with a choice between getting divorced or killing your spouse then take the steps you need to take now. Save your marriage.

You can start by picking up a copy of Patricia Love and Steven Stosny’s “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It”.

Buy How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

Megan McCormic wanted to get her ex-boyfriend back so she lied to him and told him they had a son. Believe it or not Megan McCormic isn’t the first woman to make up a baby in the hope of getting a boyfriend back. There have been worse cases than this where women have not only made up a baby but when time came for them to produce a baby they have gone out and stolen infants at times cutting the baby from the pregnant mother’s womb. Let’s breathe a sigh of relief that McCormick only downloaded a picture from the Internet and tried to claim it was a picture of her missing son.

Women tend to think a baby will help them hold on to a man and sometimes, in desperation to hold on to a man some women lie about being pregnant. In this case, police say McCormick might really have been pregnant but suffered a miscarriage at the six month mark of her pregnancy. However, she never told her ex-boyfriend, John Buchness, about the miscarriage.  Obviously the way McCormick chose to try to get herself out of her predicament wasn’t smart. She filed a missing person’s report and there was an Amber alert issued for her missing son Riley McCormick who never existed.

The best thing Megan McCormic could have done would have been to tell the truth in the first place and deal with her broken relationship. Lying to try to hold on to a man always backfires; and getting the police involved, deceiving the world, that’s inexcusable. She’s lucky it’s only a misdemeanor and the worse punishment she’ll face is having to pay restitution for using up manpower.

You’re going to get caught if you kill your wife. The spouse is usually suspect number one; so unless you’re willing to give up your freedom and spend the rest of your life behind bars, I suggest you call a divorce lawyer, end your marriage, move on with your life and let your wife move on with hers. If you feel for some reason you don’t want to see your wife move on and be happy, and your contempt is so deeply rooted that it’s not a matter of you wanting to be free from her, you just want to kill her because you hate her that badly, please pick up the phone book and locate a professional who can help you get beyond this deep hatred. You can get beyond it and you should want to get beyond it for your own sake as well as your wife’s.

We all get to a point in our relationships where resentments, disappointments, frustrations, anger over a million things builds up to a point where we can sometimes feel an intense hatred for our spouse and want to hurt them; but these feelings can be overcome.

If you’re thinking about killing your wife and then killing yourself, think about the children, if there are any children. Are your feelings of anger enough to justify orphaning your children? If you are unable to care about what’s to become of your children, please consider going and getting some help for yourself. Rage and hate that is so deep and overpowering that it makes you want to kill is not okay for you to harbor. Nothing can justify acting on those impulses.

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Suspected Santa gunman takes life; 8 others dead - the shooting is believe to have been an act of vengeance by the shooter towards his estranged wife and her family

He didn’t appreciate the judge’s ruling that he would have to pay $10,000 in monthly spousal support payments to his ex-wife as part of their divorce settlement, so on June 12, 2006, Darren Mack stabbed his estranged wife Charla Mack to death.  He then went after Nevada Family Court Judge, Chuck Weller, the judge who had ordered him to pay the spousal support, and attempted to shoot  him dead.

Darren Mack is currently serving out a life with the possibility of parole after 20 years sentence for killing his wife, and a 40 years with the possibility of parole after 16 years for trying to kill the judge. He’ll be in prison for at least 36 years before he becomes eligible for parole and even then, parole is not guaranteed.

If you’re getting divorced and thinking about killing your wife to avoid having to pay spousal support, ask yourself if it will be worth it to to spend 36 years in jail just to avoid having to make monthly spousal support payments.

Why do husbands and wives end up killing each other? How does love turn into such a state of intense hatred that someone you once wanted to honor and cherish till death, becomes so deeply and wholly detested by you that you want to kill them and cook their body parts, chop their head off and carry it around in a box ala Kevin Artz? We know money is the motivator for some, like Jim Fayed who killed his wife Pamela Fayed because he didn’t want to share the hundreds of millions they’d amassed through their online gold trading business (E-Bullion); but what is the motivator when money isn’t a factor? In cases like that of Reshma James, gunned down by her estranged husband Joseph Pallipurath the motivator seems to be the “if I can’t have you nobody else can” mentality. Some people might mistakenly believe that has something to do with love, but it really has nothing to do with love. It’s about control, possession and ego.

Some people would rather kill their spouse than allow their spouse to move on with life without them, not because they care about their spouse or want to be with their spouse, they just don’t feel their spouse should have the right to be at peace and be happy while they’re not. The OJ Simpson murder trial comes quickly to mind. He was, of course, acquitted, but in the court of public opinion he’s been deemed guilty of murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown and the reason is widely believed to be resentment over her getting on with her life and him deciding if he couldn’t have her no one could.

It’s amazing some of the shocking headlines of wives killing husbands and husbands killing wives, chopping up and deep-frying body parts, flushing body parts down the toilet, running over each other with cars, pushing each other off cliffs. I mean, my God, just call a divorce lawyer you know? File for a divorce. Why is it necessary to kill your spouse?

For those of you who are in the midst of a bad relationship, if you ever find yourself fantasizing about killing your husband or your wife, now is the time to do something about it; and I don’t mean act out your fantasy. It’s probably not all that unusual for spouses to wish each each other dead. I know some people who’ll swear up and down they’ve never wished their spouse dead. I’m going to have the courage to be honest here and say I’ve not only wished my husband dead in the past, several years ago we had a disagreement and I was walking through the living room heading to our bedroom to workout. I had a barbell in my hand and for a fleeting second I felt the impulse to hit him in the head with it. I didn’t feel an urge to kill him, only to hit him in the head with the barbell and unleash my rage; but I might have killed him had I done that. We’re a long way past those days; but the anger and resentment we felt towards each other during those days was pretty intense and resulted in domestic abuse with I, the woman, being the batterer rather than the other way around.

If you’re going through a difficult time with your spouse you can’t afford to let rage build up and hatred grow to a point where your inevitable eruption or your spouse’s inevitable eruption proves fatal. If the situation is beyond repair, get a divorce before you resort to homicide, suicide or murder-suicide.

How to tell when your marriage is beyond repair - not necessarily endorsing this article but it’s a good starting point for determining if your marriage is beyond repair.

We often wonder why women stay with their abusive husbands/boyfriends, and when we hear them say it’s because they fear for their lives we scoff at the idea. However, too many women get killed by their estranged husbands and boyfriends for us to continue to be dismiss the ones who remain in abusive relationships as being weak and somehow liking the abuse, or simply not having the courage to leave.
Here’s the text of a note that was written by 25-year old Fatima Zavala back in October.

“About a month ago, I left my partner, the children’s father.”

“Since I left, he has been showing up at my work looking for me and waiting outside the restaurant until I get off work. He told me if he can’t have me, no one will and threatened to kill me.”

Zavala was killed by her husband Ricardo Melendez on November 18th, less than a month after seeking an order of protection. Zavala had been in a relationship with Melendez for nine years and endured abuse and threats to her life throughout. She finally found the courage to leave, taking her three children with her. Those three children, ages 5, 4 and 1, now have no parents.

Could Fatima Zavala have done anything to spare herself the fate that befell her? Had she stayed in the relationship she might have still been killed, so obviously, it’s not a matter of chosing between staying in an abusive relationship and leaving. Whether you stay or leave your life is in danger. So what is the answer? How do we protect women in relationships with me who are determined one way or another to kill them?